“Nobody has provided me with a good reason that I should be playing Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice when it is significantly more satisfying to COMPLAIN about it.”
“And in this moment, we can declare that the Bemani Pro League is a resounding success, a love letter and celebration of a genre that no one plays anymore and that would not have been cutting-edge if it had been released in the nineteenth century, produced by a company that hasn’t cared about the videogame business in over a decade.”
“Thank you to both Epic and Hasbro for making this a-Peely-ing moment happen.”
We explore this sexual deviant and terrorist’s SSSensational adventures.
“It may seem unfair to say that Google Stadia has already failed, but the temporal rifts created by the platform have already revealed the future to highly-advanced organisms such as myself and I feel it is necessary to comment on them.”
“It’s more that nobody has “designed” anything, really, that the internet is a ramshackle bumfuck of a disaster designed by socially-awkward code monkeys who will be the first to go when we start murdering all of the robots.”
“…in order to understand why they are dumb, so that we can understand what ails our cutting-edge videogames, we need a primer on what I imagine actual researchers with actual degrees have to say about evolution and psychology.”
…a series of essays on how modern videogames turned humans into panicky animals.
Blizzard Entertainment unveils their most exciting project since 2003!
“I can only imagine the genius social commentary that awaits inside this cute thing’s little pooper.”