“The real game is now in using printing presses to mass-produce an artificially-scarce product, on the path to a world where white nerds think they can put their children through college if they open one more pack and find that delicious Black Lotus.”

“Nobody has provided me with a good reason that I should be playing Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice when it is significantly more satisfying to COMPLAIN about it.”

“And in this moment, we can declare that the Bemani Pro League is a resounding success, a love letter and celebration of a genre that no one plays anymore and that would not have been cutting-edge if it had been released in the nineteenth century, produced by a company that hasn’t cared about the videogame business in over a decade.”

“Thank you to both Epic and Hasbro for making this a-Peely-ing moment happen.”

ID Software and Bethesda Softworks are excited to reveal their plans for increased year-to-year operating revenues in the coming fiscal quarters!

We explore this sexual deviant and terrorist’s SSSensational adventures.

“Why idiot Activision is not understand Russia people do not deserve the treatment?”

“It may seem unfair to say that Google Stadia has already failed, but the temporal rifts created by the platform have already revealed the future to highly-advanced organisms such as myself and I feel it is necessary to comment on them.”

“It’s more that nobody has “designed” anything, really, that the internet is a ramshackle bumfuck of a disaster designed by socially-awkward code monkeys who will be the first to go when we start murdering all of the robots.”

“…in order to understand why they are dumb, so that we can understand what ails our cutting-edge videogames, we need a primer on what I imagine actual researchers with actual degrees have to say about evolution and psychology.”

…a series of essays on how modern videogames turned humans into panicky animals.

Blizzard Entertainment unveils their most exciting project since 2003!

“I can only imagine the genius social commentary that awaits inside this cute thing’s little pooper.”

“…I can only imagine that Borderlands 3 will be one of the five best Borderlands games to come out in 2019.”